Bearable Lightness

“I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable…but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.” Agatha Christie

Unbearable lightness of being. It’s the title of a book written in the 60s. The premise is that the characters have one life to live, and everything that happens to them is unique and only happens once. Practically speaking, lightness of being means accepting a certain lack of ultimate meaning in life and living for momentary beauty and nothing else.
It got me thinking of the unbearable tightness of being. 
That tightness in my chest. 
The feeling of being constricted. 
The fear that something is about to happen and not in a good way. 
The anxiety about a new chapter that is coming. 
The dread when you feel like you’re not in control.
An unbearable tightness of being. 
I think it’s so important that we believe that better days are ahead. 
To be willing to let the universe surprise us.
Delight us. 
Anxiety turned into excitement would be a great thing.
How do we become our own architect of change? 
If we ultimately don’t have any control is it just a matter of mindset? 
Is it that simple? 
I know people that have manifested beautiful lives and tremendous blessings. 
There is a freedom that seems to flow through us if we allow it.
Life happens but it doesn’t have to scare or scar us. 
I’ve been trying to study how to relax and release what frustrates me and how to treat my life as my spiritual practice. 
Like when the weather isn’t cooperative or the cable and Internet go out. To have peace and trust that life will work out for the best. 
Which turns out to be pretty hard when you have control issues. 
I know how it feels when I’m relaxed and life just flows easily. But, most days I feel myself climbing back into the gerbil wheel of asking questions that seem to have no answers.
Why do we always want certainty? 
A belief is just a thought we think over and over again. That’s why, when people believe things from childhood, as they age, it’s harder to get them to change their mind. That groove of thought and belief runs so deep, it’s almost impossible to redirect. 
So, how do we turn the tightness to lightness?
How do we unwrap ourselves?
Free up our minds and let it go. 
I believe that there is enough grace for this day. 
And that tomorrow will hold enough grace too.
We get one day at a time.
One breathe at a time. 
Our lives are right here, right now. 
Let’s let them bear a lightness of being. 
And trust that it all has meaning and a beauty that will last.