Too much time and not enough

I am in a chapter of life where I have a lot of time in my hands 
Lots of long days with no plans 
A new city
And no new friends 
Still unclear about what I am doing here, metaphorically with my life in general and also with next Tuesday 
I’m writing this on a plane heading to Atlanta 
First stop is a funeral for a friend’s mom and sister who died two months apart 
Expected but not ready
Unexpected and blindsided 
He didn’t get enough time 
And then I will see my mom who is now in palliative care 
It’s her time for this chapter
I don’t want her to suffer but it still feels like it’s not enough time with her 
So, both things can be true
I can feel sad and relieved 
Grateful and unsure 
My sister loved the song-Time in a bottle
Some of the lyrics are a perfect analogy for this season I find myself in 
“If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure, and then
again, I would spend them with you”
I am not sure how to reinvent myself while waiting on the grief that I know is coming
But, what do I do with this time when I know it’s running out and all I will want is more