Learning to be

I find myself sitting outside a lot 
Without a book 
Without a phone 
Just sitting 
It’s a quiet, meditative place on my patio with my gold lion to keep me company 
Michael and Max already know how to sit and be still
But, it’s not coming that easily to me 
The waiting for what I want to do next has me restless and without a large friend group here
I have a lot of time on my hands and I’m trying to be mindful about how I use it 
I think in this season 
I’m learning how to just be 
just be okay with what is 
just be okay with disappointment 
just be okay with the grief 
just be okay with what’s in front of me 
Without having a preference or fear about it 
I don’t know about you, but my preferences and my fears usually run the entirety of my day and definitely run loose in my mind about every subject you can imagine
To try to turn that off and just allow what is in front of me to be, is harder than I imagined 
But, I think it’s vital to the person I’m trying to become 
Cleo Wade says, “The only way we can make the most of our lives is to make the most of our moments.”
So I sit and learn
To be
And let the mundane become miraculous