Joy as a choice

I think a lot of people say that they, just want to be happy
But I’m not sure that’s completely true
I look at all the unrest
Unemployment
Uncertainty of life and
I think it’s joy we are seeking
Joy, like the feeling you had when you got the keys to your parents car and cruised around with your best friends and sang as loud as you possibly could
Windows down and laughing
It’s the feeling you had when you experienced your first kiss with the person you married
That joy
It’s bone deep
It feels strong underneath you
It’s calm
It’s settling
Happiness is fun but it’s superficial
Happiness can leave for the smallest of reasons
It’s fleeting and we are always chasing it
We are buying one more thing, just to feel it
What I am I interested in goes deeper than that
It’s joy as a choice
Joy as a way of life
When I got sick I lost so much
I just found everything to be so hard
I hated what had happened to me and to my life
I wanted to be happy but I found it almost impossible
I was grateful everyday that I woke up and
I appreciated all the friends and family that stuck by us
But, joy
Not any more
Fast forward a few years and I was having lunch with my youngest niece, Casey
She is the embodiment of joy
Laughter is her default button
I watched and listened to her and heard her laugh and it occurred to me that
Joy is what I was missing
A lightness that comes from the inside
A laughter that comes from being alive
Joy, just to be here
As a choice
I knew at that moment that this was the last piece of my healing
I had forgotten how to feel joy
I changed my gratitude practice that day
I now add a joy moment to the end of my list of things I’m grateful for
I reflect back to the day before and add the one thing that brought me the most joy
It’s been a fantastic thing to do
To actively look for and record joy
Roy T. Bennet said that “Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely."
Today you will have lots of choices
I hope one of them is joy