Surrender

I am taking a class online about how to live from a place of surrender
Michael Singer is teaching and it’s been great
It’s funny to me because I fought against surrender with everything I had when I was first getting sick
Even after my diagnosis I fought against accepting it
To me surrender meant death
I have been told my whole life that I’m belligerent and I don’t know the meaning of the word no
It’s true but it’s not so great for a peaceful life
Or mind
Eight years ago my mom gave me the book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, the same guy who is teaching the class
It was a life altering book for me
I’ve read it at least five times
The course takes his ideas from the book and dives deeper
Way deeper
When there is a willingness to let go, really let go and let life happen
A beautiful thing emerges
I am free to enjoy it and allow it all
I don’t need to control or predict or decide anything
I can observe, feel it and let it go
What a concept
I am not the voice in my head that has something to say about everything
All the time
I am the observer and the one behind all that noise
I was created in love and to experience all of life
Struggling isn’t mandatory
Sitting in awe of this universe and our lives in it, is a gift
If you read a little about quantum physics you’ll come across this piece of data: That if you brought down just a teaspoon of a neutron star, it would weight 12 trillion pounds on Earth
I don’t know about you but that blows my mind
There is so much out there that’s unexplored and unexplained
But it’s also true for what’s inside us
Our minds are constantly creating thoughts, all on its own
Our minds create images too and not all of them are positive or pleasant
Our minds tell us what we like and what to think and mine usually has something to say about what you should think and like too
Which is why the surrender course is happening
I’m tired of listening to all the chatter
The constant flow of likes and dislikes
Resisting what doesn’t make me happy and clinging to what does
It’s exhausting
I’m learning to let everything be just what it is
Life, for all of us is to learn and experience
It just is what it is
I’m half way through the course
I’m aware of how much I don’t know
But I am becoming more open to the art of allowing life
Without opinions is the goal
Just let it be what it is
Seeing each moment as a gift because they are never the same
Even if you go to the same restaurant with the same person
It won’t be the same as the last time you were there
It’s a different day and that moment is gone
Remember that when we finally get out
To really see all of this as a gift
We get each moment once
Instead of trying to hold on or make it last
Let it go
Because
Another is already here