The Awful Grace

“Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.” Aeschylus

My girlfriends sent a bonsai tree to the house after we got back from my father’s funeral 
It’s actually a bonsai azalea and it’s adorable 
The instructions are clear
Morning sun and afternoon shade
It needs to stay outside and it needs to experience winter to strengthen it 
Sounds like life to me
A balance of sun and rest 
And to build fortitude, it needs to get uncomfortable 
I’ve often wondered about the parents that do too much for their kids
I never had any so this isn’t a judgment 
It’s something I’ve watched and worried about for more than one young adult in my life 
How do you grow without struggling?
It seems so necessary to me as I look back on my life
Those lean years made me realize what I can do 
The tough times brought out an inner fortitude 
I’m resilient and confident not because my life has been easy 
But, because I’ve had some really hard challenges 
And if you’re in a hard season just know that it is going to get better 
You will get through this 
The struggle will strengthen you
I’m in a state of grief right now 
Dad was a big loss and I am navigating through it 
I will sit with the pain and not run from the feelings 
Because I know it will strengthen me 
He is teaching me, even in death 
So is the gift from my friends 
And I will welcome the wisdom that comes through the awful grace of God