When you want it, now

When you want it, now
Right this very minute and you want it all
This shut down and partial reopening has me realizing that not very many things I want to do are even available
Stores I want to shop in
Restaurants I want to eat in
Probably won’t be open here for weeks
It makes me think of the Veruca Salt character in the movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when she stomps her feet and yells to her father, “I want it all! I want it all now!” I know how she feels and I wish I didn’t
I’d like to be more zen, like Charlie
But let’s be honest who didn’t want a golden egg and the goose that laid it
My girlfriend, Nancy told me years ago when I was first recovering that God was going to take a long time to heal me
I replied, “what a terrible thing to say” and she said, she felt like if God cured me too quickly I would just go back to who I had been all along and what would be the point of any of it?
I saw the wisdom in that immediately
But, I didn’t like the way it made me feel because
I knew it was true
Who I had been wasn’t my best version and I couldn’t envision the future me
I was too in the middle
Now I see what I couldn’t see
That the lessons were necessary
In the liminal space the growth I’ve had has only been a result of time
Someone once said, that attitude is the difference between an adventure or an ordeal
How very true
So, how do I look at this day
This year, so far
2020 has been a bitch
It mostly feels like the world is getting crazier by the spin
Each rotation repels reality as we know it
Or is it somehow righting itself?
Cleansing
Clearing
Clarifying
Creating something new
Something that takes time because if it went back too soon we would just go back to who we have been all along and what would be the point of any of it?
Do you see an adventure or an ordeal?
It’s your attitude that determines that answer
Meister Eckhart said, “And suddenly you know: It's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.”
Thank you for that reminder and now we can venture out and remember that every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day
Right this very minute, even if we don’t have a golden egg or the goose that laid it